Movie Review: PREDATORS

I’m something of an expert on the Predator mythos as my love affair with all things Predator goes back roughly 22 years.  I had both Predator and Predator 2 virtually memorized before my voice had even begun to crack in puberty. At the age of 12, while all of my friends were reading “X-Men” and “Spider-Man,” I was reading the myriad “Predator” comic books published by Dark Horse. I was obsessed. That obsession continued through my 20’s with the “Aliens vs. Predator” computer game, the “Predator: Concrete Jungle” game for PS2, the action figure lines released by McFarlane Toys, and the release of the two AvP movies.

In short, I’m pretty much the kind of rabid fan-boy that Robert Rodriguez knew he’d have howling for his blood (and possibly crapping on his lawn in the middle of the night) if he screwed up his reboot of the franchise.

Predators is the third installment of my beloved series (And no, I’m not counting AvP because those weren’t Predator movies; those were 90-minute action figure commercials).The tables are turned this time in that the alien Predators are no longer visiting Earth, but are instead hand-picking the toughest prey from all over the galaxy, then dropping them off and hunting them down on a planet which acts as a sort of “game preserve” (as Adrian Brody’s character calls it). Seven very capable killers (and one unassuming, nerdy doctor) from all different conflict zones on Earth have been brought to this planet and must band together to survive. The question is: Who packs the gear to make it out alive and who is going to end up skinned, stuffed, and mounted over the fireplace?

The tagline of Predators is “Terror Is Reborn,” which should tell you that the filmmakers set out to recreate the same claustrophobic atmosphere and suspense that made the first Predator film such a visceral experience. For the most part they succeeded because even though we pretty much know what’s coming, there are still some tense moments and genuine scares to be had. While the film definitely harkens back to the original Predator and even directly emulates some of the same lines (“I’m here! Kill me!”) and even some of the same scenery (such as Schwarzenegger’s iconic waterfall jump), the filmmakers tread lightly and it’s never done with a wink. That said, one may conclude that Predators works more as a clever homage to the original instead of the tongue-in-cheek, self-referential rip-off it could have been.

After the AvP films, it’s oddly satisfying to have the Predators firmly back in the “boogeyman” role with arsenals that are beautifully amped up compared to the first two films. Mercifully, the weapons are not overdone in the campy, Freudian way that Paul Anderson did it in AvP. If I had a gripe with this movie, it would be that the kills weren’t terribly creative, with the same kind of wrist-blade impalements and plasma-caster blowouts we all came to know and love in first two films. However, much to my (and pretty much every other Predator fan-boy’s) satisfaction, there’s at least one victim who gets his skull and spine ripped straight out of his body (When is that not cool?).

I guess this is where I dispense with the obligatory film critic foppery regarding character development and dialogue and will just say that I had an absolute BLAST watching this movie. This is the movie I’d hoped would some day be made when we got our first glimpse into the Predators’ culture at the end of Predator 2. I’m extremely pleased with Predators and anticipate that I’ll be viewing it multiple times until the sequel comes out (Yeah…they left it WIDE OPEN).

Congratulations, Mr. Rodriguez. Your life and lawn are safe.

For now……..

Fanboyz Grade: A