Movie Review: Legion
When God gets fed up with humanity’s wickedness, he decides to wipe the slate clean and start over. When Dennis Quaid and Paul Bettany need a paycheck, they lend their acting credibility to an utterly ridiculous movie. Legion tells the story of Michael, the sole renegade angel defying God’s wish to destroy humanity, and protect a woman pregnant with a child destined to protect humanity. Unfortunately, nothing in this movie made any sense.
The movie opens with the fall of Michael, as he cuts off his wings and loses the Almighty’s leash. He takes off towards a desert gas stop where a small group of people end up cut off from the rest of the world because of locusts and downed electronics. Once Michael arrives arrives, he tells the survivors he is there to protect the woman’s baby, mankind’s last hope. God sends his angels who continually fight to get into the diner and try to pry them out individually.
The problem with this movie is that it is utterly frustrating. Aside from a flashback (in Heaven, mind you) we get no real explanation as to why God now has decided man is so wicked that it should be purged from the earth. Michael says that the first time God lost faith in man he sent a flood; now, he is sending angels to do it. These angels possess people much like Agents from The Matrix, except Gabriel who has the coolest fight with Michael in the movie. But these angels can be stopped if they get shot, as their inhabitants would die. So why would he send a flood (water is bulletproof) then send beings that have an actual chance of being stopped? If you decide that it’s just one of those “movie things”, what’s more frustrating is the whole story around the baby. Nothing is said about it other than it being important for humanity, and the third act rushes to place the importance on it so much that you forget the movie never told you why the baby is so vital.
Legion is a total mess. Put aside the religious ambiguity and cardboard characters, and you’re still left with a story that ultimately goes no where. If any of this story sounds familiar, it’s because the movie bears a striking resemblance to 1995′s The Prophecy. If you’re looking for a movie about angels fighting over humanity, check it out. Not only does The Prophecy have a more logical story, it has Christopher Walken. Do yourself a favor, and pray you’ll never have to watch Legion.
Fanboyz Grade: D-
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6 Comments
This review is spot-on.
As my buddy and I were walking out of the theater, I told him that this movie was the retarded afterbirth of a clusterf**k between "The Prophecy," "The Matrix," "Dawn of the Dead," and "Dogma."
This movie makes absolutely ZERO sense. The part that pissed me off the most was when Michael and Jeep(?) and talking and the angel tells the mongoloid (who has a Southern accent when he lives in the Mojave?) that his "love" for the pregnant waitress restored his faith in humanity's goodness. Lemme see if I have this straight: Michael's faith in humanity hinged on the crush some retard had on the only person with a vagina within 200 square miles of his $#ithole gas-station? REALLY?
Uggggh. Terrible, terrible movie.
I agree completely with your review except according to the bible the rainbow after the flood was a promise from god that he would never flood the world again.
Maybe so, but does that mean He has to resort to using angels that can be shot?
Well technically the attackers werent angels, they were ‘possessed humans’ a la the matrix reloaded/revolutions. But absolutely not, the story was terrible. The more I think about it, the more it seems like they drew from every bad plot convention they could find.
Just look at the characters, you have the snobby rich people, the disgruntled war vet, the gangsta/thug, the slutty girl (I am really surprised they didn’t try to give her a love story), and the pregnant lady fits the bill of the only character who maintains a level head and her composure, for some reason they felt the need to throw in a redneck in the character of jeep.
So much about this movie didn’t make sense that it is pointless to try to justify any of it.
I almost believe God got fed up with humanity’s wickedness and sent this movie.
I haven't seen this movie, but if it is worse than "The Prophecy," I don't think I will see it anytime soon